*while walking down the street after dinner I saw a trash can so I threw my water cup away*

“An A-student would’ve held onto the cup and recycled it.”

“Babe. I want a tiny baby kitten.”
“Because we didn’t get Kitten as a super small tiny baby and they’re so cute.”
“But what are we going to name it? We already have Kitten.”
“I have like a million names for it already!”
“No! I want to name it Kitty.”

“I put down that I didn’t know what kind of facial I wanted.”
“You don’t want the Gentleman’s Facial?”
“No. I’m going to tell them to just make me ageless.”

“Did you need to get gas?”
“No it’s ok, I’ll get it later.”
“But I thought that was the whole point of you driving this morning.”
“I’ll get it later so you’re not stuck in the car all bored.”
“Just get it now. We can spend time together.”
“What, me outside the car and you sitting inside?”
“My favorite kind of together.”
“You’re such a b-level itch sometimes.”

“Team Baroness.”
“I’m really disappointed in Rolf. I didn’t think he would stay with the Nazis.”
“Rolf is someone who would definitely fall for fake news.”

“Oh look, that’s the family style dinner. I think it serves 2 or 3. Yeah 3.”
“You could eat that by yourself.”
“I’m not that much of a fatass.”
“I didn’t say you were a fatass. You’re a champion.”