Monthly Archives: May 2014

“Do you want to go to Walgreens with me? Please?”
“Yeah, I guess I have to go with you, otherwise you won’t be able to cross the street because you need to hold an adult’s hand.”

“I’ll wait until after you come back from your run to go to Sur La Table. That way one of us will be here in case we get any deliveries.”
“We will. I have stuff coming.”
“Like what?”
“I ordered like $100 worth of those GoPicnic snacks!”

“What’s the difference between a Wookie and an Ewok?”
“A Wookie stands like, six feet tall, and…”
“So Chewbacca is a Wookie.”
“And Ewoks are small.”
“Are you proud of me? I knew that!”
“No. I’m going to send you a wiki of all the Star Wars…”
“Please don’t.”
“…and I will give you a quiz on it. And if you don’t get 70% or better, you will not get to choose the next animal we have.”
“What?! Ask me now! Come on, ask me a question!”
“Okay. Who shot first?”
“If you’d seen Star Wars, you would know what this is referencing.”
“…Han Solo?”
“…that was a lucky guess.”
“BOOM. Ask me another question!”
“Fine. What did Han Solo say when Princess Leia said ‘I love you’ right before he’s frozen in carbonite?”
“Um, ‘I love you too?’”
“Wrong. You now can only have a 3-legged dog or cat.”
“Ask me another one.”
“Fine. What was the frozen planet called?”
“I have no idea. Come on, I’ve only seen most of the first one.”
“Then you would know this!”
“I don’t remember stuff like this!”
“It’s like history.”
“It took me forever to remember what Jawas were, and what they say.”
“What do they say?”

“I’m sorry I was acting a little dramatic.”
“It’s okay, I’m dramatic all the time.”
“That’s true, you’re always melodramatic.”
“It’s because my feels are always on.”

“Best husband ever.”
“How many husbands have you had?”
“Just one.”
“Then technically I’d also be the worst husband ever.”
“Yeah. And the most mediocre. Oh my God, that should be in my wedding vow. Most mediocre husband ever.”
“Thank you for being an average wife. List all the things I like about you: cleanliness, B-. Cooking, A+. Baking, A+. Attentiveness to Dog, B+. So that’s like a 3.7. You’d get a degree.”
“Valedictorian of my heart. Welcome to the honor roll! You’re the key club of my life.”