Monthly Archives: October 2013

“Should we get something to cover the tables when we carve pumpkins, like a tarp?”
“We can just grab a newspaper along the way.”
“Sweet, like one of those adult ones?”
“…Adult newspapers?”
“Yeah!  Like the free ones they hand out in Vegas!”
“…They hand out newspapers in Vegas?”
“Yeah!  They have all these free newspapers with pictures of girls on them that you can call.”
“They do?”
“Man, you have been going to the wrong Vegas.”

“Isn’t Carrie just about a girl who gets bullied and she has magic powers?”
“Yeah.  Basically it’s like any other high school, she’s kind of an outcast and the other girls make fun of her.”
“Don’t they dump pig’s blood on her?”
“Yeah.  They vote her to be prom queen and then dump blood on her.  So then she can use her mind to control things and like locks the door and kills people, like she just loses it.”
“So they get what they deserved, right?”
“Yeah.”
“So it’s basically a happy story.”
“Yeah, it’s like a Cinderella story.  She gets crowned queen, and she’s happy because she gets what she wants and everyone dies.”

“I could never be a model.  I’d fall wearing heels.”
“I wouldn’t.”
“What, be a model?  Or fall wearing heels?”
“Fall wearing heels.  Modeling is a sport, right?  I’m pretty good at sports.”

“Would it not be cute if we each walked a dog?”
“No, you know what’s cute?  If we put you in a maxi dress.”
“What?”
“Like, you look cute right now, but in a maxi dress you’re cuuuuuuuute.”

“Wanna go on a Color Me Mine date with me?  I want to paint my own mug.”
“Of course!  Mimosas and mug painting?  Of course after I drink, I’ll either: a) paint even more slowly and/or b) do a really wacky paint job.”