“Do you like my shirt?”
“I do.”
“I think you have one like this.”
“More importantly, I like what’s underneath it.”
“………”
“………. your big heart.”
“Hate you.”

“My stylist wouldn’t dye my hair dark blue.”
“Good.”
“You didn’t like that idea?”
“No.”
“Sorry I don’t look Asian.”
“If I wanted an Asian wife, I would’ve married one.  Instead, I married an angel.  OHHHHHHHH!!”
“Oh god.”
“HAH!!!  DID YOU LIKE THAT?  THAT WAS SO GOOD.  MUSH!!!!”

“Are you changing again?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“This doesn’t match.”
“Yes it does.”
“No it doesn’t!”
“Babe, it looks fine.”
“No it doesn’t.”
“Babe, gray matches with almost anything.”
“No!”
“BABE, these are WORKOUT CLOTHES.”
“No they are not!  You do not understand!  This is LULULEMON in the MARINA!”

“I hate when people stop in the middle of the street.  That woman was texting.”
“You mean on the sidewalk.”
“Yeah, sidewalk, street. Close enough.”
“Well, I guess it’s the same thing if you’re a female driver.”

“We have a pretty awesome life, don’t we?”
“Well, yeah, you can’t spell awesome without Sam.”
“…”
“Sometimes you can’t even?”
“Yeah.”
“Is this going on the blog or Facebook?”
“Neither.  I don’t want to encourage you.”
“What do you mean?”
“It would just boost your ego.”
“My ego is already boosted every morning when I wake up married to you.”
“Oh god.”
“This entire conversation should go on the blog.”

“I hate it when people stare creepily at the dogs.  It’s like, I’m fine if they look at me and say, ‘hey you have a cute dog,’ but they don’t do that.  They just stare at the dog was we walk past.”
“I’m used to it.”
“What, people staring creepily at the dog?”
“No, at me.”
“Tell me who stares creepily at you.”
“Everyone.”
“And when?”
“All the time.”
“Why do you think people stare creepily at you all the time?”
“Because I’m beautiful.”

m4s0n501