“Do you want to come with me to look for decorations?”
“Not really.”
“But you’re more picky.  Like how you don’t like animal figurines and stuff.”
“I’m really okay with anything you pick, as long as it’s not some African fertility doll with a giant dick.”

“Do you like that we’re super cute together, and we’re a power couple?”
“We are not a power couple.”
“Amongst our group of friends we are.”
“We’re the ONLY couple in our group of friends.  Well, besides one other couple.”
“That doesn’t make us a power couple.”
“Yes it does.”
“Explain what makes us a power couple.”
“Well, we live in the Marina.  You drive a white SUV, and I drive a white compact sports car.”
“You do not have a sports car.”
“Okay fine.  A compact hybrid sports car.”
“You have a Prius.”

* while at The Melting Pot for Sam’s birthday dinner *

“The last time you were here, you were single!  Well, not married.”
“You wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for me.”
“That’s not true.  I could still just come here with someone else.”
“Yes, but it’s my birthday, and if I hadn’t been born, then you wouldn’t be here with the best person on earth: me.”

*while watching The Parent Trap*

“We should have kids, just to see if they’ll do this to us.”
“Um, no.  This would mean we have to split up too.”
“We can do that!”