“I hate when people stop in the middle of the street.  That woman was texting.”
“You mean on the sidewalk.”
“Yeah, sidewalk, street. Close enough.”
“Well, I guess it’s the same thing if you’re a female driver.”

“We have a pretty awesome life, don’t we?”
“Well, yeah, you can’t spell awesome without Sam.”
“…”
“Sometimes you can’t even?”
“Yeah.”
“Is this going on the blog or Facebook?”
“Neither.  I don’t want to encourage you.”
“What do you mean?”
“It would just boost your ego.”
“My ego is already boosted every morning when I wake up married to you.”
“Oh god.”
“This entire conversation should go on the blog.”

“I hate it when people stare creepily at the dogs.  It’s like, I’m fine if they look at me and say, ‘hey you have a cute dog,’ but they don’t do that.  They just stare at the dog was we walk past.”
“I’m used to it.”
“What, people staring creepily at the dog?”
“No, at me.”
“Tell me who stares creepily at you.”
“Everyone.”
“And when?”
“All the time.”
“Why do you think people stare creepily at you all the time?”
“Because I’m beautiful.”

“Do you want to come with me to look for decorations?”
“Not really.”
“But you’re more picky.  Like how you don’t like animal figurines and stuff.”
“I’m really okay with anything you pick, as long as it’s not some African fertility doll with a giant dick.”

“Do you like that we’re super cute together, and we’re a power couple?”
“We are not a power couple.”
“Amongst our group of friends we are.”
“We’re the ONLY couple in our group of friends.  Well, besides one other couple.”
“Exactly.”
“That doesn’t make us a power couple.”
“Yes it does.”
“Explain what makes us a power couple.”
“Well, we live in the Marina.  You drive a white SUV, and I drive a white compact sports car.”
“You do not have a sports car.”
“Okay fine.  A compact hybrid sports car.”
“You have a Prius.”