“How mad would you be if I brought home another kitten?”
“But look, it would just cuddle you and love you!”
“How mad would you be if I brought home a brand new Audi SUV?”
“But you’d be so comfortable when I drive you around in it!”
“This is not even on the same level.”

* background: I call our older cat “Baby Fat,” as he’s a chubby little runt.  Also, I’ve never seen Star Wars.

“Maybe we should’ve named him Boba Fett!”
“Why not?  Actually I don’t know who Boba Fett is.”
“That’s one reason.”
“We can still name him Boba Fett.  Wait, is it Boba Fett, or is it Bobo Fett?”
“This is the other reason.”

“Just don’t use the money for strippers.  Or if you do, at least make sure they’re pretty.”
“Definitely a dilemma: spend $350 for 1 pretty stripper, or get 10 less than pretty strippers.  Harem of 1 or many, can’t decide.”
“Quality over quantity.  You have a reputation to keep up.”
“That’s what I tell you about farting, yet you still go for quantity.”

* sees an orange kitten on Petfinder *

“If we get that, we are going to name it Trader Meow’s Cheese Puffs. No shortening of the name. So vet records, everything. They’re going to call him by his full name. Trader Meow’s Cheese Puffs.”