“Do you want to come with me to look for decorations?”
“Not really.”
“But you’re more picky.  Like how you don’t like animal figurines and stuff.”
“I’m really okay with anything you pick, as long as it’s not some African fertility doll with a giant dick.”

“Do you like that we’re super cute together, and we’re a power couple?”
“We are not a power couple.”
“Amongst our group of friends we are.”
“We’re the ONLY couple in our group of friends.  Well, besides one other couple.”
“Exactly.”
“That doesn’t make us a power couple.”
“Yes it does.”
“Explain what makes us a power couple.”
“Well, we live in the Marina.  You drive a white SUV, and I drive a white compact sports car.”
“You do not have a sports car.”
“Okay fine.  A compact hybrid sports car.”
“You have a Prius.”

* while at The Melting Pot for Sam’s birthday dinner *

“The last time you were here, you were single!  Well, not married.”
“Yes.”
“You wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for me.”
“That’s not true.  I could still just come here with someone else.”
“Yes, but it’s my birthday, and if I hadn’t been born, then you wouldn’t be here with the best person on earth: me.”

*while watching The Parent Trap*

“We should have kids, just to see if they’ll do this to us.”
“Um, no.  This would mean we have to split up too.”
“We can do that!”

“Do you want to go to Walgreens with me? Please?”
“Yeah, I guess I have to go with you, otherwise you won’t be able to cross the street because you need to hold an adult’s hand.”

“I’ll wait until after you come back from your run to go to Sur La Table. That way one of us will be here in case we get any deliveries.”
“We will. I have stuff coming.”
“Like what?”
“I ordered like $100 worth of those GoPicnic snacks!”

“What’s the difference between a Wookie and an Ewok?”
“A Wookie stands like, six feet tall, and…”
“So Chewbacca is a Wookie.”
“Yes.”
“And Ewoks are small.”
“Yes.”
“Are you proud of me? I knew that!”
“No. I’m going to send you a wiki of all the Star Wars…”
“Please don’t.”
“…and I will give you a quiz on it. And if you don’t get 70% or better, you will not get to choose the next animal we have.”
“What?! Ask me now! Come on, ask me a question!”
“Okay. Who shot first?”
“…what?”
“If you’d seen Star Wars, you would know what this is referencing.”
“…Han Solo?”
“…that was a lucky guess.”
“BOOM. Ask me another question!”
“Fine. What did Han Solo say when Princess Leia said ‘I love you’ right before he’s frozen in carbonite?”
“Um, ‘I love you too?’”
“Wrong. You now can only have a 3-legged dog or cat.”
“Ask me another one.”
“Fine. What was the frozen planet called?”
“I have no idea. Come on, I’ve only seen most of the first one.”
“Then you would know this!”
“I don’t remember stuff like this!”
“It’s like history.”
“It took me forever to remember what Jawas were, and what they say.”
“What do they say?”
“WOOTINI!!!!!”