“Do you like my shirt?”
“I do.”
“I think you have one like this.”
“More importantly, I like what’s underneath it.”
“………”
“………. your big heart.”
“Hate you.”

“My stylist wouldn’t dye my hair dark blue.”
“Good.”
“You didn’t like that idea?”
“No.”
“Sorry I don’t look Asian.”
“If I wanted an Asian wife, I would’ve married one.  Instead, I married an angel.  OHHHHHHHH!!”
“Oh god.”
“HAH!!!  DID YOU LIKE THAT?  THAT WAS SO GOOD.  MUSH!!!!”

“Are you changing again?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“This doesn’t match.”
“Yes it does.”
“No it doesn’t!”
“Babe, it looks fine.”
“No it doesn’t.”
“Babe, gray matches with almost anything.”
“No!”
“BABE, these are WORKOUT CLOTHES.”
“No they are not!  You do not understand!  This is LULULEMON in the MARINA!”

“I hate when people stop in the middle of the street.  That woman was texting.”
“You mean on the sidewalk.”
“Yeah, sidewalk, street. Close enough.”
“Well, I guess it’s the same thing if you’re a female driver.”